静水盈盈

Another Cell Book

By Sophie

(Please click to enlarge to read)

Sophie did the painting first. 
Actually every time she told the story, it's kind of diffrent. This is the most frequently repeated version. Of course, an abridged one.  

Happy Birthday, Sophie!

Sophie turned 5!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Sweetest Words

"Mama, Grandma died in August?" 
"Yes. Sister told you?"
Sophie nodded,"How did she die?"
"Do you know?"
"Cancer?"
"Yes."
"What is cancer?"
"A very evil kind of cell." Sophie loves drawing all kinds of cells.
"How evil?"
"It kills good cells in your body."
"Mama, Yuanyuan has this magic wand, and it can kill the cancer!" She sat up in bed, starting to look serious."Open your mouth, Mama, real big!" Then she pretended to put something in my mouth.
"Swallow it down!" She saw the look on my face."It won't choke you, Mama."  I obliged.
"OK. Now Yuanyuan uses this magic wand and touches one cancer cell." Her eyes wide open, with the you-won't-believe-it-because-neither-do-I look, "all the evil cancer cells are destroyed!" she fell back down on her pillow, looking at me with that really proud smile on the face, as if she had just accomplished a mission impossible. Yuanyuan is one of her favorite plush ladybugs. 
"Wow!"I was speechless for a moment."It's a pity Yuanyuan wasn't around when Grandma was ill."
She nodded again. "But we have it now."
I leaned down to give her a hug. "I love you."
"I love you, too. Mama."

The light was turned off. Tomorrow is Sophie's 5th birthday. The same day 6 years ago, my Mom passed away. 

The Night Before the First Day of School

It was the last day of my girls' summer break. It was late into the night. Girls have fallen asleep. Laura set her clothes for the first day of middle school neatly on her bed.  She wanted to sleep with Sophie tonight. Sophie put her clothes right beside Laura's, with a puffer fish necklace on top. I believe Laura helped her with all that. 

I didn't want to go to bed. I had to write Lunch Box notes for both of my girls. But before that, I needed to fold the laundry. It's not that I wanted to do that. The laundry had been on sofa for almost a week. It's just that I couldn't go to bed.  I felt I needed to do something. Sophie's going to Kindergarten. Both of my girls are going to school tomorrow. But other than writing them notes, I couldn't think of anything else. My mind was blank.

I folded the laundry, cleaned up the kitchen, and made sure my alarm clock was set at 6:40am. Haven't been up that early for a long time.

Then I went into Sophie's playroom. The room was quite tidy. Sophie remembered to clean up her room before going to bed. All her dolls are in the doll crib, toy sofa on the shelf, ladybug pillow on the doll highchair. I knelt down and picked up a tiny doll slipper she left on the floor. And I broke into tears.

Clinging to Sophie's favorite tissue box which got many cute and wacky germ faces on it, I was on the floor , crying, for a long time. As if that was all I could do, all I wanted to do, all I needed to do. Then I realized it was. I had tried not to think about it, not to talk about it, try to avoid it the whole summer. My mind was no longer blank. I remembered walking Laura to school with Sophie sleeping in my sling. She was only 2 months old. I remembered her, in bright orange dress, picking up fall leaves outside Laura's school. I remembered taking her to Aspen Coffee in the morning. She would draw pictures while I read. She knew we needed a quarter for the M&M machine right by the door. We always did that before we left. Her favorite place got to be Panera Bread. With a sugar cookie, a bag of books, and a corner sofa, we would cuddle the whole afternoon. I remembered she ran into my arms and gave me this squeezing-tight hug, and say, "Mom, I love you most!"

It didn't take long for them to grow up. But will take forever for me to learn to let go. The girls have filled up the void in every possible way, and how will I ever feel the same again? 

Perfect Gift for Daddy

There are 8 packages of "Spicy Crispy Peanut", which is one of my husband's current FAVORITE snacks, in this gift bag. Laura attached a little note she wrote on there:

"Serving Size: 4 bags
 Servings per container: 2

 

Possible Side Effects:
 Unawareness of time; Loss of Appetite(for dinner); Unfocused attention which might cause nagging, kids crying for attention..." 

买鞋

快开学了，该给孩子们买鞋了。

蛙蛙早就开始穿我的鞋了。半年前开始的吧，有一天一大早出门，发现门口的鞋架子上我要穿的那双平底白皮鞋不见了，怎么找也找不见。急着出门，就穿了另一双浅驼色的平底凉鞋。下午接蛙蛙，她脚上那双白皮鞋已经变成灰皮鞋了。

“你怎么穿妈妈的鞋？”

“你说可以的。”

“我什么时候说了？”

“我上次问你，你说可以的。” 

“是吗？我怎么不记得了？”

“你亲口答应的！”  这就是孩子说话的时候，装着好像听见了的结果。

第二天，要带着嗒嗒去游泳，我得穿那双浅驼色的凉鞋，结果又不见了。下午接蛙蛙，那凉鞋上已经是红的，绿的油漆颜料了。“你知道今天要画画，为什么还穿妈妈的鞋？”

“我忘了。”

“也不小心点!"

"Olivia(她的一个朋友）把漆都弄到脸上，头发上了。一下子洗都洗不掉！” 噢！只把漆弄在鞋上算是业绩了。

“昨天我要穿皮鞋，结果你穿走了。今天带妹妹游泳，要穿这双鞋，你又穿走了。”

“要不妈妈，怎们写了日程表，哪天谁穿哪双鞋，然后贴在门口？”

幸好我的鞋也不是什么特“名牌”的，又都是平底的，穿就穿吧！

这是半年前了，现在呢？趁女儿还不到穿高跟鞋的年龄，“小蛙，买鞋的时候，尽量买以后妈妈也能穿的，哈？穿的时候爱惜点儿，等你穿不下了，妈妈还能穿。” 孩子的脚怎么就长得这么快呢？！

嗒嗒也是。夏天刚开始的时候，买了一双打折的布鞋，准备她秋天开学穿。买的时候就已经买了大一码的，9号半。前些天，带嗒嗒买新芭蕾舞鞋。上一双是8号的。从9号试起，太小。9号半，还是太小。10号，正好！都是一夏天光脚丫子的结果。没遮拦，疯长！

“女孩子，长这么大的脚，不好看。” 我小时候我妈妈就是这么说的。小时候鞋挤脚了，还得再穿一段时间。到脚都疼了，才买鞋呢。买鞋也总是买大一码的。鞋尖塞上棉花，鞋带再系紧点儿，就行啦！脚长大一点儿，棉花就往外拿出一点儿。有时候穿着穿着棉花就跑到鞋的别的部位，就得把鞋拖了，重整一下。等穿到棉花都拿出来了，鞋刚刚好，最舒服了，再也不用担心里面的棉花乱跑，我也就可以乱跑啦！

“脚大点儿，没什么不好看！走得稳！”爸爸总是站在女儿一边的。

买！