静水盈盈

Thoughts on Dance Studio

Dance is fun. It builds self-confidence and coordination. More appealing to me, dance is music made visible. I love watching my girls giggling, swirling and dancing in the house. "There are shortcuts to happiness, and dancing is one of them".

I wish I got the chance to learn to do it when I was the right age. Well, I have figured out the other shortcuts over the years. So when Sophie said she wanted to dance(again), natually I started to look for a dance studio for her(again). She's still little, 5, the age that is not quite ready to handle the serious instructions. For this age, you'll most likely to find classes labled "Creative Movements" or "Pre-Ballet". By that, it means a little bit of basic dance steps, a little bit of free movements, and maybe a little bit of jazz and tap dances. Sounds very fun! 

So I sent Sophie to this dance studio. Actually this was her third dance school already. The previous two didn't work out. It went fairly well. She was happy, which was very important. Then came the time to discuss about the end-of-year recital. I realized I made a mistake. 

When Laura was little, she attened this professional ballet school once. For her recital, she danced in her regular dance outfit, like every other girls in her class. They danced with their hearts, and they danced beautifully. But nowadays, I see more and more "Las Vegas" style dance and recitals. Young kids were allowed to put on inappropriate costumes and heavy makeup, and danced with unsuitable music. The end-of-year recital, which is supposed to be the icing on the cake, became the main focal point of the class. Months before the recital, kids started to prepare(drill) for the recital dances. It appears (to me, as a parent) that putting on a grand show is more important than building up a solid foundation of dance basics. It just seems harder and harder to find a dance studio that focuses more on proficiency and artistry. 

Dance is also performing arts, which inevitably will incoorperate acting, muisc, stage and costumes. Especially for little girls, they enjoy the costumes and the exciting performces enormously. But when it's not done appropriately, we're literally telling our little kids (young girls) that the most important thing is how you look (with fake hair and makeup), how you prance on stage, how you shake your butt in front of the audience, and all this obsession with vanity. 

That being said, I want to go back and talk about "fun". Kids usually have fun during the class, that's very important to keep the studio running.  But let's look at "fun" from another perspective. Young kids can have fun from all sorts of non-structured activities - jumping, running, doodling, splashing in the swimming pool - which is equally important. Then there's a longer term sense of joy and sense of achievement, which could only obtained through focused hard work and efforts. It gives kids a valuable experience of seeing how their commitment help them grow stronger. 

Dance is fine arts. Dance is an enrichment experience. But that only happens when the dance school or the studio keeps that kind of philosophy and mission at its heart.

二十七 宰公鸡

公鸡？在哪儿？ 要不是老公常钓鲜鱼回来，家里的刀就是切菜用的，哪儿见过血呀？

为什么到过年才宰公鸡？小时候平时就只吃猪肉么？不记得了。可是我记得小时候看外婆和妈妈宰鸡。

上小学前我跟着外婆住在无锡乡下。妈妈爸爸要上班，没空照顾我。哥哥跟着奶奶住，也在无锡，但不在一个镇子上。我住的虽然说不上是深宅大院，可对我来说，那可也是个大宅子。进大门，是个很大的天井。左手边是一间房，因为窗户的原因吧，记忆里那间屋子总是暗暗的，里面有什么家具都记不得了，因为平时很少去那间屋子，只有追猫的时候才会进去。猫是外婆养的，因为我老追，最后跑丢了，这都是题外话。廊檐下是砖砌的水道，排雨水的。正前面是灶房。之所以说是灶房，因为里面一点儿都不像现在的厨房。里面靠墙是一个砖砌的灶台，进灶房右手边是一个大水缸，有人会定期给我们担水。水缸的木头盖子上放着快水用的瓢。灶房和追猫的屋子之间夹的是睡房。宽大的屋子尽头是一张有四根帷柱的木床。木床上有精美的雕花装饰，床幔一年四季都挂着，只是夏天会换上薄如蝉翼的纱帐。每次和小蛙讲起来，蛙蛙都会睁大了眼睛，“妈妈，你小时候睡那么高级的床呀？” 除了大床，还有一个类似衣橱的高柜子。之所以说高，因为过年妈妈给我寄来的包裹就放在那柜子顶上。我踮着脚尖儿，仰着头，也只能看见包裹的一个角儿。包裹里是妈妈亲自缝制的棉袄和花罩衣。睡房的门口儿是猫睡觉的垫子。每天一大早，外婆去赶早市的时候，会把猫赶出睡房，然后把门关上，因为我一个人在屋子里的时候， 外婆不想猫来捣乱。

现在回到天井。天井的一角是鸡窝。外婆请人搭的，分上下层，里面至少有四五只鸡。其中一只芦花公鸡是我最喜欢的。高高的，大大的，黑白花色的毛，走起路来，昂首挺胸的，可威武了！别的鸡很少出院子，可芦花喜欢乱跑，院门开着，它就自己出门了。但到傍晚它总能回来，进窝歇息。外婆傍晚喂食的时候，它也不出来，外婆说，芦花在外面吃饱了。可是有一次，芦花到了晚上也没回来。外婆站在大门口，往巷子里张望了很久，也没有芦花的身影。这样过了两天吧，外婆带着我上街去找。我记得看见芦花的时候它正在过马路。街上人来车往的，可就数我的芦花不紧不慢，跺着它特有的方步。我一眼就认出了芦花，尽管它身上的毛耷拉着，还沾满了污泥。

芦花被带回了家，外婆说得把它杀了。我应该很伤心，可记忆里不是伤心的眼泪，而是那一盆鲜红的鸡血。外婆动作很快，等我明白过来，芦花都已经放在开水里在退毛了。地上是一大盆鲜红色，热腾腾的鸡血。鸡汤肯定很好喝，走地鸡嘛。可盛鸡的沙锅放在灶房的窗台上，没关窗户，半夜给野猫叼走了。外婆说的。

后来妈妈把我接回北京，外婆不在，过年宰鸡的时候，妈妈得自己动手。妈妈手不够快，而且没有把鸡的喉管割透，结果吓得妈妈冲出厨房，把鸡关在狭小的厨房里，任它在里面乱扑腾。我从厨房门上的玻璃窗可以看进去，那可怜的鸡扇着翅膀，像没头的苍蝇一样，四处乱撞。等最后消停下来，妈妈确认鸡已经没气儿了，这才推开厨房门。哪儿还有地方下脚呀！到处是沾满了血的鸡毛！

以后这道工序就省了。每次过年买鸡，都是在集市上，让人杀好了，退了毛，才买回家。熬鸡汤的时候，满屋子的香，揭开沙锅盖，上面一层金黄色的油，那汤可鲜了。

蛙蛙和嗒嗒从没喝过这么新鲜的鸡汤。偶尔买一只“天价”的有机走地鸡回家，可怎么熬也熬不出记忆里那个味道。回忆有时候令人望而却步。一点点，包裹在心灵上感觉最坚实的壳慢慢破裂，里面的碎片散落出来，看看这片，摸摸那片，不舍得放手。喜悦，惆怅，眷恋，更多的，是思念。

Cello Journey(V) - Smooth Drive

With all the dramas along the way, I have to say it's been a quite smooth ride. So much more pleasant than I expected.

Here are some moments captured along the "Journey". It's such a joy to watch her taking music to her heart.

 

She was 4 when she started, so she treated her cello pretty much as one of her toys. She played cello for her then-favorite doll, Selina. She got the doll from her auntie June in Seattle.

Sophie tucked her Cello for a cozy nap with her. 

Both cellos were wrapped up cozy on carpet after a rainy day out for lessons. Sophie said they caught cold and needed medicine, a tomato and some bagels.

Sophie has been enjoying playing wherever she goes:  1- in kitchen showing me what she just figured out while I was cooking; 2- on backyard patio on a pleasant weekend afternoon; 3 - on driveway when the fall sky is high and sun is still warm; 4 - on the lawn in backyard in early spring.

Once Sophie insisted playing cello for the ostrich in the Oklahoma Zoo. She wanted to bring her cello and play outside the fence. Only for that request, we kindly rejected. But for others, they're quite acceptable: 1 - outside the local Community Center while Laura's having dance lesson inside; 2 - outside the Seretean Performing Arts Center right after her cello lesson(She looked pretty serious, she's playing a sad song she just made up); 3 - in the park; 4 - in our minivan( doesn't it feel like a limo?!) 

No instrument, no problem. See how Sophie makes music on the go without her cello: 1 - in hotel on our Vancouver Trip; 2 - in car on the way back from our Houston Trip; 3 - in bed.

Cello Journey (VI) - A Few Clips

A few short clips from the early days of learning cello.

This is one of her very first videos. Just started learning cello parts and how to hold the instrument.

Two months into learning. The variation of the first song "Twinkle". I love how she nodded her head when she thought she got it right.

One of her night time practice moments. The song is called "French Folk Song". She was playing for her "Ohmu", because she thought this song sounded like a lullaby.

Power outage didn't stop Sophie from practicing cello. She actually really enjoyed playing with only the candle light. The song is called "Allegro".

Sophie sang along as she practiced her new bow strokes in our backyard. The song is called "Oh, Come Little Children". 

Cello Journey(III) - One Thing At a Time

Sophie learns fast. She listens to the songs on CD, then she can play it on her Cello. By that I mean she can make the tune right, but not necessarily the right bowing strokes. "Mom, I want to figure out the next song!" That's what she likes to say most. And she always did, at least so far when the songs are not very complicated. 

Once she insisted playing even after the shower. In her pajamas, she tried and tried the new song, but couldn't get it completely right. Even if she messed up at the last note, she would start from the very beginning. 
"Sophie, just do the wrong part. You don't have to start again." It's already very late.
"No!"
"How about we try it tomorrow?"
She ignored me, which happened quite often when she's into her playing. So almost an hour later, she figured out the whole song and played perfectly right.  

Then came the problem.

It's not fair to say she didn't try hard on the bow hold when she paid so much attention to get the notes right. Just as Sophie started to cruise along the songs in Book One, she was asked to slow down and do "Cello Stuff" right. Cello Stuff here means: loose relaxed bow hold, straight back, even shoulders, tucked cello hand thumb, curved cello fingers, raised elbow, playing in "pasta", the right place where the bow is supposed to land, and keeping "T" shape, the right angle of the bow and the string! 

I felt that's too much to ask for a 4-year-old child. I assumed everything would fall into its right place when she's ready, or when she's bigger. But Dr. Blecha was very firm and clear about her expectations, even though I didn't understand her zealous attention to details until later on. "If the child learn incorrect bowings and fingerings, it's very difficult to undo the learning."

Now looking back, I felt so grateful that she didn't gave in. We got the right instrument, the right program, the amazing teacher, all we need is the right attitude.

So we decided to handle those "Cello Stuff" one at a time. This week, let's just do loose bow hold, and next, we made sure the shoulers were even and straight, the following week, tackle the elbow... bowing, posture, finger, tone, dynamics, rhythm... one at a time. Each time, she had only one thing to take care of, and she's more relaxed and less frustrated. 

Every day we practise, every day, we take on new challenges. 

Cello Journey(II) - Bumpy Ride

The 30-minute lesson is offered twice a week, one as group, one as individual. They spent first few weeks learning the Cello's parts, clapping to different rhythms, playing by plucking rather than bowing the strings, which is called pizzicato, probably the first of many music terms I learned along the way. It was not hard. By the time they had their first Christmas recital, they got on stage and "pizzicato" two short songs. It was cute. I remember Sophie kept asking me when it was her turn to go on stage again. She couldn't have enough. She enjoyed it.

That was  7 weeks since she started. Things went real smooth until...

About 2 months into the program, Sophie started to learn a brand new bowing technique - push bow, or upbow. The bowing appeared in song No. 6 in Book One, called "Oh, Come, Little Children". Up to that point, every song started with a pull (bow), although she only leraned 5 songs before that. 

The seemingly-easy bowing became the first ever obstacle. It seemed that she had to break her life-long playing habit for it. Every muscle and every nerve had to be tuned and "rewired". She tried, then realized she did wrong; tried again, wrong again; one more try, even worse. It's not just the beginning of the song. Every sentence of the song begins with the upbow. She got the first right, then messed up the second one; She made it through the first 3, then she lost on the 4th. She didn't throw the bow, or stop. She kept on going, with tears swirling in her eyes. She was not only upset, frustrated, she was furious!

"I don't like upbow!"
"I don't like it either!" I acknowledged her feeling.
"Why does it have to be upbow?"
"It's the way this song is composed, I guess." What could I say.
"I don't like this song."
"You're very upset! Why don't we just stop here today?" I admit I had to try hard to resist the temptation to let her try even one more time. 

We didn't practice the next day, which rarely happened. I just didn't want her to associate the negative feelings, if there's any, to cello playing. I was thinking about that all along though. That's when I say, "She started. We all did". You just cannot break away from it. How could I do it to help her? Which part did I do wrong? Or when should I back down and when should I push forward? Are there any better approaches?... 

The third day, just out of blue, she said,"Mom, I want you to hear me play."
"OK! Just pick any song you'd like to do."
"Mom, guess which song I'll do first." She gave me this very mysterious grin.

She played "Oh, Come, Little Children" from beginning to the end, with every push bow perfectly right. "Mom, this is my favorite song now!" I remember that smile on her little face. The enormous joy and pride. 

You thought you knew your kids. Prepared to be amazed.

Show Time

This is supposed to be the last in the Cello Journal series, but I got caught up, AGAIN, in this hectic December schedules.

Sunday. Still felt guilty that I couldn't find a chance to say Happy Holidays to all my Chinese students at the last lesson, I tried to make myself concentrating on the next mission: baking cookies for friends who will come to Sophie's Recital. But I. Am. Not. A. Baker! I have this issue with measuring. Laura always complains to me, "Mom, will you ever use measuring cups? The ribs/cakes/soup don't taste the same."
"Do you like them?"
"Yes!"
"So, what's the point? Life is unpredictable!" I did say that.

So I spent the whole evening (not including the countless nights last week) baking, cutting, frosting and decorating. I wish I could say I enjoyed it. But I would rather do something else. Homemade cookies! Since when they become a required skills for moms? 

Then Sophie fell sick two days before recital. Fever. Then my mind went frantic. "What if the fever doesn't go away for days?""What if she couldn'd do it? she's been preparing for this for the last whole month.""All the invitations are sent out. The room is reserved..." But those just went silently inside. Outside, I was calm. 

To make things more complicated, my car broke down that morning. I was stuck in the parking lot of Walmart, with two bunches of fresh cut flowers in my hand. They're for Sophie's Cello Recital that night. 

But things worked out just fine. They usually do. 

1 The show's on!

1 year of learning. 33 group lessons, 35 private lessons. 17 songs in Book One, 5 variations. Over 3000 repeats of practice over the past year. It all came down to the 15-minute recital.

As she cruised along the songs near the end, I found myself trying very hard not to get emotional. She's so serious, at the same time, the way she played, the way she held her cello, she looked just so majestic! 

It was a great recital. Almost flawless. I suppose I should be thrilled and content with where she's right now. However, I feel it's just the beginning. The beginning of another year's journey.

"Never hurry, never stop." It's good. Now, we're more ready.

 

 

Cello Journey(I) - How It Started

Sophie will have her Cello Book One Recital tonight.

Solo Recital.

It will be very special to her and our family. Now that she has finished Book One, I feel it's time I put something down. Not that I haven't wrote anything on her Cello learning before, I have a whole book of jounals full of detailed lesson notes, practice notes and "confessions". In retrospect, I feel more proud of her than she is of herself. So this is for her. ( I start to get teary. Silly me!)

One year ago, a friend called telling me that there was this music program offered by the professor at the University that teaches Cello. She asked me if we'd like to have Sophie to try with her girl since they were about the same age.

"Cello?" "The instrument Yo Yo Ma plays?" "That big?" "Who would want to start with cello, at age 4?" "How and where do we get the instrument?" 

The friend called again. The program wouldn't be possible without minimum enrollment. It's a Suzuki program. I heard about it before, but I had no idea what that meant. Then I was told that every child could learn to play, all I needed to do was to go to class with her. Sounds fair to me.  Sophie didn't have any class after school. She didn't like the dance lesson. We decided to give it a try.

I didn't want to get into details of renting the right size cello ( Sophie uses 1/8 ), the trouble with the shipping and returning (twice), the switch to the music store in New Mexco, the confusion of the diffrence between European size and Suzuki size... 

She started. We ALL did, as a whole family.

 

A Song to Share

Another beautiful fall day. If only the wind could be gentler. 

One thing on my to-do list: Laundry. Another: put the song "Little Lou, Prophet Jack and Ugly John" on repeat mode, until those itchy "earworms" laid thousands of musical eggs in my brain. Then probably I'll have to drive them into yours. Or have I already?

Enjoy the fall & the "worms"!

A Good Read

I came across this wonderful article on NYTimes, which literally made my day. It's called "A Silicon Valley School That Doesn't Compute". I haven't finished reading the comments yet, but it's such a relief to learn that I'm not the only one to think that the modern technology (such as computers, TVs, and iPads) could be a HUGE distraction from deep, critical and engaging thinking and learning habits.

(I'll keep on where I left yesterday)
I consider myself a strict parent. But there are so many times I found myself shy away from even making a gentle request like "how about less time spending on your emails?", or a simple remark "You don't need a cell phone in middle school", or a constant reminder "TV only on weekends" ( what a nagging mom!) I don't want to be labelled "old-fashioned", "Stubborn", "preachy" or "conservative". ( I've been labelled all those maybe anyway.) 

I don't hold an Educational psychology degree(maybe I should get one). I haven't done research on how those modern electronic gadgets have impacted on children. I am a mom, a full-time mom. I observe. I noticed the behavior changes. There's no doubt some of those changes are age-related. But still, some changes bother and worry me. (Mom always worry too much)

I happened to have a conversation with Laura about the pros and cons of spending too much time in front of screen right before I read this article. We were on the way home from her cello lesson. She was very excited telling all about her Keyboarding lesson at school. I'm sure it's a critical skill for their generation. Anyway, the conversation went less exciting when I started to talk about computer time. ( what a wet blanket! I guess I live up to those labels). Laura is a good listener. Only I couldn't quite straight out all my key points. If only I read the article before the conversation, I would be more convincing. 

Everybody say that we should always let kids be kids. Let them play. Let them explore. Let them grow their way. But we should do that only when we know what we're doing. We don't simply do that in a careless way. Of course we're not experts. We make mistakes. But it would be nice if once in a while, we all stop and look back to see if that's what we want for our lives. Or let the kids do that. People are more rational in retropect. 

Maybe it's time to see if they're "stubborn", too. 

(Another headline from today's NYTimes: Screen Time Higher Than Ever for Children.) 

怀旧的旋律

在“文学城”上看到一个欧洲旅行的系列游记，其中一篇讲到莱茵河。不由得想起一首我非常非常喜欢的老歌：麦洁文的莱茵河之恋。找来重听，岁月荏苒，可仍旧那么的好听。

“有一天我们的文明，不论是升华还是浮华，都要成为过去。……然而现在还是清如水，明如镜的秋天，我应当是快乐的。” 

－张爱玲

Fall's Here!

First day of fall!

And this is gonna be the First Fall Post, while I'm having First Fall Coffee and First Fall Toast. My little girl Sophie "invented" this FF thing. Last night, after bedtime story, Sophie said, "Mama, my teacher said tomorrow is the first day of fall."

So this morning, we had our First Fall Kiss and First Fall Hug. After that, She's very excited to have her First Fall Breakfast, and First Fall Trip to School. She said she's gonna draw a picture called "Happy Fall" at school today. She learned how to spell fall and leaf last night. She already known how to spell happy. 

Happy Fall to everyone！

中秋

又到中秋了。

远方的朋友送来问候，说看到的应该是同一个月亮。雪盈的中文老师这周的作业是背诵苏轼的《水调歌头》。但愿人长久，千里共婵娟。这首脍炙人口的诗作，年年看，年年颂，每次感触都不同。赶上忙碌的日子，招呼着孩子们吃了月饼，还没等念完睡前故事，就已经进入半睡眠状态了。像昨晚皎洁的月光透过百叶窗，洒在窗上，银白色的。可困得连百叶窗也不愿起身打开，想着还有今晚呢。

有时候忙里偷闲，会沏上一杯茶，放上一盘CD, 任凭思绪随着音乐流离，蔓延，会想起好多朋友，想起故去的亲人。有的好久没有联系了，有的失去了音讯，有的，只能看照片了。忽然发现原来心里装了这么多的思愁，可日子仍然可以像俄克拉荷马州的太阳一样，耀眼而炙热。

月饼在孩子们的要求下，已经吃了第三盒了。今晚就着剩的两块赏月吧。

祝愿所有的朋友，中秋快乐！

The Night Before the First Day of School

It was the last day of my girls' summer break. It was late into the night. Girls have fallen asleep. Laura set her clothes for the first day of middle school neatly on her bed.  She wanted to sleep with Sophie tonight. Sophie put her clothes right beside Laura's, with a puffer fish necklace on top. I believe Laura helped her with all that. 

I didn't want to go to bed. I had to write Lunch Box notes for both of my girls. But before that, I needed to fold the laundry. It's not that I wanted to do that. The laundry had been on sofa for almost a week. It's just that I couldn't go to bed.  I felt I needed to do something. Sophie's going to Kindergarten. Both of my girls are going to school tomorrow. But other than writing them notes, I couldn't think of anything else. My mind was blank.

I folded the laundry, cleaned up the kitchen, and made sure my alarm clock was set at 6:40am. Haven't been up that early for a long time.

Then I went into Sophie's playroom. The room was quite tidy. Sophie remembered to clean up her room before going to bed. All her dolls are in the doll crib, toy sofa on the shelf, ladybug pillow on the doll highchair. I knelt down and picked up a tiny doll slipper she left on the floor. And I broke into tears.

Clinging to Sophie's favorite tissue box which got many cute and wacky germ faces on it, I was on the floor , crying, for a long time. As if that was all I could do, all I wanted to do, all I needed to do. Then I realized it was. I had tried not to think about it, not to talk about it, try to avoid it the whole summer. My mind was no longer blank. I remembered walking Laura to school with Sophie sleeping in my sling. She was only 2 months old. I remembered her, in bright orange dress, picking up fall leaves outside Laura's school. I remembered taking her to Aspen Coffee in the morning. She would draw pictures while I read. She knew we needed a quarter for the M&M machine right by the door. We always did that before we left. Her favorite place got to be Panera Bread. With a sugar cookie, a bag of books, and a corner sofa, we would cuddle the whole afternoon. I remembered she ran into my arms and gave me this squeezing-tight hug, and say, "Mom, I love you most!"

It didn't take long for them to grow up. But will take forever for me to learn to let go. The girls have filled up the void in every possible way, and how will I ever feel the same again? 

More Thoughts on Summer Break

If you took time to read Laura's book report on "Song of the Strangers" (Thank You!!), You probably remember she mentioned about her take on summer break. 

"It’s summer break. If I were in China right now, I would probably be in Summer school. However, I am in America. In America summer is more relaxing. But when my mom says, “It’s time to do some math!” I naturally just go do the math worksheet. When I’m done with it, I feel a sense of accomplishment that I learned something new or strengthened some skills. In my mind, without a good balance between relaxing and learning in the summer, I feel the summer’s not complete."

My girls have been spending their summers with endless days of sleeping in, playing and swimming. Summer learning hasn't happen daily. It never did. But Laura has learned to make it such a natural part of her summer.

Just two days earlier, I read an article called "This Is Your Brain on Summer" on New York Times by Jeff Smink, the vice president of policy for National Summer Learning Association. In the article, Jeff writes about how summer off is one of the most important cause of underachievement in American schools. If students are not engaged in learning during summer, the loss on skills (especially in math and reading) is real.

Summer learning is a wonderful idea, if carried out in the right way. But I always believe it is the programs during the school year that need to be fixed. Only when students have very engaging and challenging programs during school days, then can we talk about the break, the real relaxation of the summer.   

I felt so relived after reading Laura's writing. It's nice to know that she shared the same idea with me. As a Chinese Mom raising daughters in America, I feel I'm facing as many challenges as my daughters. For Laura, she feels she needs to find that "right balance"; for me, it's not just about the balance. It's more about the right way, the better way. 

Nagging in (pleasant)Disguise

Laura found this application called "Stickies" on our computer and started sending me notes. 

The second the computer is waken up, the notes are popped right on the desktop. I can read, write and reply to her notes in few clicks. Simple, fast and no more waste of paper "Post-It". 

I even find it more convenient than email. Besides, the cute note makes my job easier. If you know how hard it is for me to resist nagging, then you know how much she welcome some non-nagging input, something that's easier for her to take. 

As I am writing this, I cannot help thinking that everything comes along with a reason. I doubt we would have found this as convenient, useful and necessary a year ago. Laura is a good daughter. I could tell when she resisted "fighting" back (at my nagging) because she didn't want to hurt my feelings. I could see her silent protests when my nagging got on her nerves.

She needs time and space to grow up. Looks like a good time to start trying something different. With that being said, nagging is still considered part of mother's job (right?) I guess I have hard time letting go. 

Happy Father's Day

Found this online. Made me smile. Added a few more lines. To all the Daddies out there!(I'm sure you can think more)

So grateful the storm was over and we're all OK. Thank you, my friends far and near, for your phone calls, your concerns and your prayers! 

And I couldn't help thinking of this song called "Raindrops Keep Falling on My Head" by B.J. Thomas. (Can you believe it, it was on the top of the pop chart right when I was born. )

... ...  So I just did me some talkin' to the sun
          And I said I didn't like the way he got things done
          Sleepin' on the job
          Those raindrops are fallin' on my head, they keep fallin'... ...

The power was out for a couple of hours last night. No TV, no Internet. By the candle light, Laura played Piano, Sophie played Cello. (Even when the power was back, Sophie insisted playing with only candle light). It was nice.

... .... But there's one thing I know
           The blues they send to meet me won't defeat me
           It won't be long till happiness steps up to greet me ... ...

A Poem to Share

Saw the movie If You Are The One II the other night, I really liked the poem the daughter read to her father. Here's my translation, raw, clumsy and earnest.

... Feed the Soul

The hyacinth must have popped out of the ground for quite a few days. I totally forgot it. I must have planted it last year. Sophie noticed the color of pink among the still bleak background first. She ran to it, knelt down and smelt the flower. "Mama, come, it smells so sweet!" 

My favorite season is fall. But the best part of the year is early spring. I came to the States in December 1996. It was a bitterly cold winter. I spent most of the time staying at the apartment which we shared with the other three students. When they all went to classes during the week days, I usually sat at the table in front of the window, studying English, preparing for the GRE tests. 

We didn't have a car at that time. There were times when my husband and I walked all the way to his lab at the Ohio State University. He was studying for his Ph.D. in biochemistry. It was almost an hour's walk. It must have felt longer than that since we had to walk in the single digit. That's not something I remember about Columbus, where we spent five years before we moved to Seattle, at least that's not what I chose to remember.

The fondest memory is the spring of 1997, the first spring after that coldest winter. The laundry was a few blocks from our apartment. On one of the laundry trip, I noticed a few bright purple flowers popping out of the melting snow along the sidewalk. They were small, packed in a few bunches. Then I saw some more along the way, some in bright yellow, more in purple-blue. It was a such a happy sight, almost like a triumph to me. I survived the first winter! And the spring's here! Only later did I learn that was crocus. 

I went out more after that. I walked to the public library, to Kroger, the local grocery, or simply around the neighborhood. Wherever I went, the spring flowers were blooming. That spring was also a wet one. But they were more of drizzles, like we had in Seattle. The colors were just dazzling in the mist. I love the fresh smell of the soft rain, the grass, the dirt, the flowers, and all the things that were growing. That mesmerizing scent has linked forever with my first Spring in Columbus. The scent of early spring, the scent of the feeling that I finally settled down, the scent of a piece of memory that a young lady tried to start a new life in a foreign place. It was so precious. I wish it could be bottled and kept forever. 

I heard about a poem saying that Hyacinth is so fragrant that people are willing to give up his last loaf of bread for the flower, to feed the soul. I guess I must have the same urge and yearning back then. Only I didn't have the dilemma. My husband brought home plenty of food for us. And there were always flowers in blooming outside my window. I should be the happiest soul.

"If of thy mortal goods thou art bereft, 
And from thy slender store 
Two loaves alone to thee are left, 
Sell one, and with the dole, 
Buy hyacinths to feed thy soul."

~ Musharish-Ud-Din Sadi

Good Read

I keep a canvas tote in my car, in which there are notebooks, pencils and books. Books that I'm currently working on, books I want to read, books Laura recommends, and books I have read before. 

The reason I keep the books I've finished reading is that like revisiting a place, not only it brings back fond memories, but also it makes you looking at things from a different perspective. Different time, different place, difference mood, even different season. There were so many times I was taken back by what I read. "How come I didn't notice this before?""I don't even remember I read this last time." or more often, "I can relate to this chapter so much. I cannot believe I missed this." 

Like children do selective listening, we only see what choose to see at a certain time. That's why good book is worth revisiting. I have this book called "Nurtured by Love" by Shinichi Suzuki, the founder and inventor of the international Suzuki method of music education. I read it because Sophie's Cello teacher once recommended it. It was a quick read. Lots of stories and tons of information all packed in just 100-page book. I need to lend it to a friend so I picked it up again this morning right before I had to pick up Sophie. 

In just one hour, I went through the chapters, couldn't finish it in time. Here are a few places I'd like very much to share with you: 

(When asked by a parent if her child will ever amount to something) "No, he'll not become 'something'. It is an undisguisedly cold and calculating educational attitude. So I said, "He will become a noble person through his violin playing. Isn't that good enough? You should stop wanting your child to become a professional, a good money earner. This thought is concealed in your question and is offensive. A person with a fine and pure heart will find happiness. The only concern for parents should be to bring up their children as noble human beings."

(After returning the fish to the water after a day's pleasant fishing) I have never held the practical, materialistic view that there is little use in doing something if there are no immediate profits or results to show for it. It was my father who planted the seed of this in me.

(After lending money to a friend who promised to reimburse his father in Nagoya, his father wrote to him) "I sent you that money for your studies. I'm shocked at your impertinence in lending it... if you have enough to  lend, it is better to share it, and share your friends' hardships too."

I want to make good citizens. If a child hears good music, and learns to play it himself, he develops sensitivity, discipline and endurance. He gets a beautiful heart.

The purpose of Talent Education is to train children, not (necessarily) to be professional musicians but to be fine musician and to show high ability in any other field they enter.

These are just a few. His takes on talent, on harmony, on practice, and on life are nothing you've never heard of. But when he talks about them with honesty, earnest and pure passion, not only will you get moved, you also get convinced. 

Are we on the right track?

The Point of Reading

At the end of the 1st nine weeks of her fifth grade, Laura brought back 130.5 points in her AR (Accelerated Reader) program, which was the highest in her class. She came home that day excited and proud. She should be. Her time and efforts got recognized and honored.

At the beginning of the 2nd nine weeks, we sat down, went through her reading list and had a long talk. It turned out there was so much going on behind that 100 plus reading points. She talked about the strategies she used to score high; the confusion when she found out that several great award-winning books only worth a couple of points, while the best-selling fantasy series books were given more than 30 points per book. She's especially surprised to learn that quite a few high reading level non-fiction science books are worth only half point!

"Mom, that's just not fair!" "The book I read last month, the one you recommended, only 4 points!" "And the book I'm reading right now, its' so good, and there's even no AR point for that!" 

I could totally understand her frustration. She wants her decisions and efforts recognized in the fair way, just as people would like to be treated right. 

AR is a program that has been out there for decades. I heard about it before. I never got a chance to learn more about it until my daughter started her fifth grade. Student chooses a book, does a comprehension test on the computer after finishing the book, then gets the points based on the results. It's a program that is meant to encourage the school kids to read, to love reading. Every program serves a certain purpose and at the same time sends out messages. When the program gets tied up with grade, or even Report Cards, the message it sends out is that the number of points are valued more than what is being read. Just imagine when students are striving to make more points, how much time and energy would be left to put into the reflections to the books. 

When the message is wrong, the whole purpose of reading is falling apart. When you hear kids say "what's the point of reading when there is no points to earn in the end?", how would you justify that this program is meant to encourage lifelong love of reading and even right learning habits and attitudes?

We trust our kids with schools and teachers, hoping they learn more than just how to read, write, add and multiply. Every program starts out with good intentions. I guess it depends so much on how it is carried out. Kids CAN tell.

Yesterday, I found Laura in her cozy reading corner. I asked, "What are you reading?" 

"The Rules, Mom. There's no AR points for this."

"Enjoy!"

 

王菲开唱啦！

王菲开唱啦！ 真是羡慕死能去现场的人了。

你是她的歌迷嘛？我是。《红豆》，《我愿意》，《矜持》，《流年》，还有许多歌，听了好多年了。最近的新歌《传奇》和《幽兰操》也很好听。尤其喜欢《幽兰操》，淡然而自信，清澈而空灵。

期待她更多的新歌。"Where words fail, music speaks."

万圣节

又快到一年一度的万圣节了。每年到这个时候，都会“随波逐流”地，跟着风潮，带着孩子们“疯狂”一番。好像每年也只有在这一天，人们才会放开自己。无论是大人，还是小孩子，都希望通过装扮，来体验“不是自己”的快乐和魔力。与其说是鬼节，到不如说是狂欢节。到静水后，我们第一次带着孩子去参加大学举办的万圣节活动。人们的化装应有尽有，大家都喜气洋洋的，偶尔会和一两个“鬼怪”擦肩而过，也会不妨碍我们的心情。只是我会抱着年幼的孩子，让她转过头去，不让她看见。

每一个节日都有它的起源和故事，万圣节也不例外。两千多年前，欧洲的天主教会把十一月一日定为“天下圣徒之日”(All Hallows Day)。传说自公元前五百年，居住在爱尔兰，苏格兰等地的凯尔特人(Celts)把这个节日往前移了一天，即十月三十一日。他们认为这一天十严酷冬天的开始。那时人们相信，故人的亡魂会在这一天回到故居地在活人身上找寻生灵，借此再生。而且这是人在死后能获得再生的惟一机会。这段时间是最容易与灵相通的时期，阴阳界限最模糊，所有的邪灵都跑出来在世上游荡，正是尊崇死神的时候。而撒旦教徒更把万圣节作为他们可以颂扬死亡与魔鬼的日子。有了异教之嫌，许多基督教会不鼓励教徒以及子女参加万圣节活动。

撇开宗教不谈，我觉得万圣节本身已经更像一个民俗节日。虽然不少人还是打扮成鬼怪和精灵的模样，但人们更多的是把它当成一个和朋友聚会，能一起开心热闹的日子。倒是商家每年都能因此而大赚一笔，感觉是成就了他们的商业活动。

这个节日究竟到底怎么过，取决于每一个家长。过与不过，其实并不那么重要。买来的糖和要来的糖是一样甜的。

最后，祝大家万圣节快乐！孩子们快乐！